Resiliency

Resilience

      Resilience is defined by dictionary.com as the ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.  How often do we view ourselves as being resilient?  Can we truly bounce back from major setbacks as adversity or depression or illness?  What about our children?  Can they bounce back from traumatic events?  Well, according to Petty (2014), when children receive support and are surrounded by protective factors, such as having someone to talk to or someone to hear (not just listen to) their words, they are more opt to building resiliency.  In fact, anxiety and stress negatively affects brain chemicals, basically reducing people’s experiences with happiness and resilience (Music, 2011).  Therefore, it is imperative that we take all necessary accommodations to promote healthy parenting, happy environments and holistic teaching.
      Healthy parenting to promote resiliency in our children stems from our own health.  As parents, it is easy to neglect ourselves to encompass the different roles we play as parent, employee, and partner (sometimes we must be both mom and dad).  Since becoming a mom, I have truly learned what my mom meant when she told me, “You will never sleep well ever again.”  My daughter is only two.  Boy, do I have a long road to go.  Snacking throughout the day has turned into my meal times.  On good days, those meal times do not consist of my two year old’s left overs (the half eaten chicken nugget, the apple that looks as if a little mouse nibbled around it, or the cup of juice she decided to practice blowing bubbles with rather than drinking it).  Showers are luxuries.  Shaving my legs happen sometimes.  Wearing a hat has become part of my daily wardrobe for those many days I do not get to stay in the shower long enough to wash my hair.  Nonetheless, I push through my days to give my beautiful daughter as much time, love, praise, guidance, and toys/activities that my busy brain and tired body will allow.  I consider this healthy parenting. Why?  I am present and involved.  I am aware that every action I do will be an imprint in her brain to determine her actions in the future.  I know that the words I say, she will one day repeat.  It is her right to receive healthy parenting.  More importantly, it is my responsibility to provide that for her. 
      Happy environments are predictable environments.  When children are able to predict the events of their day, they are less stressed.  As stated in Music (2011), research indicates resilience suggests better outcomes when one can actively participate in events and influence their environments, that their world is predictable.  Unfortunately, trauma, neglect, and/or unresponsiveness parenting gives way to unstable environments and decreases the aptitude for resiliency.  Our children have the right to happy environments.  More importantly, it is our responsibility as parents to provide that for them. 
      Holistic teaching involves incorporating the whole child when teaching.  As parents, we are our children’s first teachers.  They imitate the words we say and perform the behaviors they observe we do.  However, our children are born with a set of in-born traits that help them approach the world (Temperament and Your Child’s Personality, n.d.).  To approach our children from a holistic stance includes embracing our children’s temperament.  Fostering positive development includes taking their temperament into consideration when parenting.  My daughter is a slow to warm up child (my personality is more quick to adapt) with definitive answers (I can be “wishy washy” at times) and a very strong will (I have a strong will, as well).  I find myself having to take a “step back” many times to take deep breaths before addressing her.  In those moments, I take the opportunity to remind myself of her temperament.  After all, she has the right to be the whole child that she is.  More importantly, it is my responsibility to be her mom ad teacher who accommodates her temperament. 
      Resiliency is fostered by consistency, responsiveness, and reliability.  As parents, we are called to provide health, happy environments, and to be effective teachers to our children as a way to develop resiliency.  As resilient children and adults, people are more susceptible to productive lives with a better ability to manage stressful events.  A part of my focus is to grow a daughter with high resiliency and a strong ability to build healthy relationships for herself and with others.  My hope is that you, too, have the same desire for your child.   
                                                                   References

Petty, K. (2014). Ten Ways to Foster Resilience in Young Children – Teaching Kids to “ Bounce 

Back,” 35–40.   

Resilience.  (n.d.).  In Dictionary.com.  Retrieved from

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/resilience?s=t

Temperament and Your Child's Personality.  (n.d.).  In Child Development Institute.  Retrieved

from

            http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-development/temperament_and_your_child/